I obeyed because I knew He was giving me the chance to not only walk out of my prison of shame that had caused wounds to myself and to her, but also to obliterate the whole effing thing so that it wouldn’t be a place I would run to in our friendship ever again.
I think there are some sacred places where God helps us push through our fears. Often, these places are where you get to be in your glory; meaning they are where you feel alive, feel free, feel fully yourself.
In my mind, the story of my last two years (although profoundly precious) has been so deeply painful, that I thought if I completely let go, it would mean that part of my life would be null and void. Dead. Over.