I want to get more comfortable with the tension. With the lack of definition. With the fact that magic and fear can co-exist in my little 10-year-old world, and magic and monotony can co-exist in my bigger 30-something-year-old-world.
I think there are some sacred places where God helps us push through our fears. Often, these places are where you get to be in your glory; meaning they are where you feel alive, feel free, feel fully yourself.
In my mind, the story of my last two years (although profoundly precious) has been so deeply painful, that I thought if I completely let go, it would mean that part of my life would be null and void. Dead. Over.