Time = Connection

i'm trying to write, but hank is crying in his bed, the house is a mess, and i have a million distractions. the baby was up at 5 am… can i get a WITNESS about daylight savings? i have to go to bed by 9:00 just to be able to function the next day.

tonight is date night. with the budget on a freeze and life at mach speed, we are having "home" date nights these days. i stopped and got peach vodka and carlson cherry wine (my spirit wine). cal is currently in the hot tub with the boys, letting them splash and be wild and wearing them out before bed.

the last two days i worked, wrote letters, cooked lasagna, did millions of dishes, five loads of laundry, changed diapers, wiped bottoms, vacuumed pretzels and goldfish out of the couch, changed sheets, went for a run, did hip-hop abs (don't judge), and picked up nerf darts. guys, i have that thing—where my abs separated because of all the babies and i can literally put TWO fingers in BETWEEN my abs. i know you get it mamas.

the days go by so fast; sometimes i want to crumble in tears like the character sadness in the movie inside out due to the sheer overwhelmingness of it all. 95% of what I have to give goes to my boys and at this point, i have 5% left over to nurture our marriage during this season. i keep hearing it gets easier and i had a wonderful older mama friend send me an encouraging message at 6 am which was endlessly dear to me all day.

so to my point: time = connection

i have never in my life had to be more intentional with—nor needed—connection more. some gal friends of mine and i take a day a week and share pictures...in essence a visual daytimer. school drop off, dinner, mounds of laundry, babies learning to walk, birthday cakes, cries for prayer, toddler fits, and whatever else that authentically reflects the current moods of our day. it creates glue for my week… a sense of cohesion. i feel less alone and like we are actually SEEING each other. witnessing the daily. which is what 90% of life with tiny kids is… the daily repetition, the constant response to needs, the output, the patience, the apology for not being patient, the wiping tears. this visual daytimer of shared photos is CONNECTION for me.

i connect with some other friends via marco polo where we just talk about the process… the dinner we are having, the wine we are drinking, the fight we are having with our husband, the process with our kids, how we feel about our hair. again, an ANCHOR. connection.

i have a friend who speaks into my life often… smart and wise. another who is strong and brave and inspires me daily… we talk on the phone which is weird for me but i love hearing her voice and untangling life and work with her.

so tonight is date night. Cal and I will be in our pajamas on the couch. we will talk for a bit and catch up… one of us will go give the baby his paci when he wakes up and another will calm down fray if he has a bad dream. but if we don't carve out this time in this season, i feel untethered; unanchored. if we don't fight for this time together, the fights start to happen more often and we start to misunderstand each other.

time = connection.

we have to put the time in. the minutes. the hours. returning texts, returning calls, sitting on the couch, looking at the whites of each other's eyes, asking questions, talking, listening, responding.

connection is in the daily. it’s not in the occasional. it’s tent life… connecting like community does. seeing each other, spending time in each other's villages; in each other's tents. being in the details… witnessing the struggles and the celebrations. problem solving, talking it through. not living life alone or hiding when it gets hard, but living out loud with our safe people—letting ourselves be seen and heard and understood.

let's fight for that this week, sisters. amidst the hustle, let's fight for connection. let's put in the time.


Palisade, CO

Rickelle takes joy in the simple things in life and can often be found pointing out things of beauty–both big and small. As a licensed Therapist, she enjoys helping others find truth and breakthrough. However, Rickelle's main loves are Jesus and her family. She and her husband, Caleb, have two adventuresome boys. Rickelle also delights in conversation and time spent over coffee with treasured friends.