Owning Our Stories
what does it take and what does it mean to own our own stories? to inhabit our own lives fully?

makes me think of when we moved to the town of palisade. for years we lived in the downtown area of the neighboring city, grand junction, remodeling a cottage built in 1897. cal was so resistant to move, but I craved wide open spaces for the boys. the morning of the move, a bunch of strong dudes came over and started lifting furniture and putting it in the moving truck; all the dust bunnies exposed. i didn't move growing up, so I had never experienced leaving a house that you had come to love, a home that had a heartbeat, a pulse. before i knew it, we were here in our new house. a new story. a new start.

 

i was showing cal pictures of our two older boys when they were babies last night and as we reminisced, I saw the original wood floors of our old downtown house in the background and thought, how incredible that two of our babies came home to that special place. and now here we are in a new zip code and a new story.

 

i started work again last monday and though i was nervous to leave hank, i remembered how incredibly relieving it is to get out of the house–even though and my heart still misses him all day long. there’s something about helping a greater cause and thinking outside of my little story. we are in a new chapter now. our kids are here. one is waiting in Heaven. good thing my tubes are tied or i might just keep wanting to have more of these precious boys. this is the beginning of something new and i want to fully own this next season.

 

it’s so easy to compare. when i work, i think of my domestic diva SAHM friends that i deeply respect and i think about how special it is that they stay home with their babies. then i see women at work, who I also deeply respect, who drop their kids off at daycare and i wonder if i should be working more. instead, i'm learning to listen to the intuitive, true voice inside of me.

what is YOUR story, kel? what is YOUR truth? what is best for YOUR tribe?

when they were about to pull hank out, cal said, ‘any last guesses?’ i said, ‘i know it's a boy.' we didn't find out gender with any of our boys...and lots of folks were convinced this was a girl, cal included. though i hoped for another dude in the tribe, it took me a couple days to wrap my mind around knowing i would never be a mama to a daughter {more thoughts on this to come}. but i will say most days i feel utter relief to be a boy mom. i was raised with two toughAF older brothers. most of my closest friends have brothers. i'm used to the simplicity of dudes... it's my comfort zone. to be surrounded with carhartts and back hoes and to have my boys collect snails and wonder at frogs and worms feels right as rain to me.

 

i see my friends with baby girls who have pink and tangerine floral onesies and a drawer full of bows. I watch them growing up, wanting to wear lip-gloss and dance with their friends. and MY story is boys. and more boys. I want to rock that roll. I want to raise fierce, brave warrior men to go out into this world.

 

so, here i am in this new chapter of MY book. it seems at every chapter start and turn of the page, we are given a new opportunity to own OUR story, to build on our God-given identity. to resist comparison and rise up in our OWN tax brackets, the gender of our children, the state of our marriages, the addresses we call home.

 

sometimes i feel i need to hear, kel, your story is beautiful. i look at your stories, and i think...goodness sakes, those are beautiful stories!

 

so let’s inhabit our own lives today, let’s own our own stories, let’s rise up and be badasses in the circumstances that we are in.

so let's inhabit our own lives today, let's own our own stories, let's rise up and be badasses in the circumstances that we are in. let's look around, look outside of ourselves, and see who needs help. let's MOVE IN to our lives and OWN our stories, mess and all. more than anything, let's look at the whites of each other's eyes and say, 'your story is freaking awesome. I adore watching it unfold. please keep being YOU, please listen to your truth.’

 

i see you and love you.

Palisade, CO

Rickelle takes joy in the simple things in life and can often be found pointing out things of beauty–both big and small. As a licensed Therapist, she enjoys helping others find truth and breakthrough. However, Rickelle's main loves are Jesus and her family. She and her husband, Caleb, have two adventuresome boys. Rickelle also delights in conversation and time spent over coffee with treasured friends.