Smack Dab in the Middle

I want to get more comfortable with the tension. With the lack of definition. With the fact that magic and fear can co-exist in my little 10-year-old world, and magic and monotony can co-exist in my bigger 30-something-year-old-world.

Smack Dab in the Middle

The Load

I don’t want to ignore what the loneliness is trying to tell me because the broken places in me need to be dealt with, but I also don’t want the loneliness to overshadow every day in this season.

The Load

Percentages and Margins

and i tried to talk to myself as i would a friend… ”this is a season, it won't always feel like your percentages are completely taken up, you are normal.”

Percentages and Margins

A Map in the Midst

Despite the blurring pain, I always knew that God would use that part of our story to breathe life and hope into others who are also walking through a “detour” season.

A Map in the Midst

When You Walk into the Room

The point isn’t to look for the negatives in the atmosphere but to know that God is excited to be invited into every circumstance and experience and He can shift the entire feeling in a room if you ask Him to.

When You Walk into the Room

Keep Inviting

If you’re wondering where that community is for you, I want to hand you my bouquet of lavender… I extend this to you in confident affirmation that it IS coming. You won’t always feel lonely or disconnected.

Keep Inviting

It's Okay to Rest

I’ve been thinking a lot about the necessity of seasons and the role dormancy and death plays in life. In order for life to spring forth, something has to be buried or planted or laid down.

It's Okay to Rest

That's Mine

Is it fair to say to your kids or your partner, That’s mine? There’s been a bit of a rub between my family and me when I say this simple phrase.

That's Mine

Smidge of Grace

i can sit with myself on days when i'm struggling when before i just wanted to escape into iphone land, or to target, or to anything that would distract me even a little bit from how threatened i felt

Smidge of Grace

Ripples in the Wave

I began to feel the start of a bit of unraveling… I fought it as I was honestly so sick and tired of becoming unraveled about my infertility. She whispered, “He can tell that you are afraid to hope, Adge.”

Ripples in the Wave

Kick Steps

I think there are some sacred places where God helps us push through our fears. Often, these places are where you get to be in your glory; meaning they are where you feel alive, feel free, feel fully yourself.

Kick Steps

Taking Flight

In my mind, the story of my last two years (although profoundly precious) has been so deeply painful, that I thought if I completely let go, it would mean that part of my life would be null and void. Dead. Over.

Taking Flight

Owning Our Stories

it seems at every chapter start and turn of the page, we are given a new opportunity to own OUR story, to build on our God-given identity, to resist comparison.

Owning Our Stories

Following Up

This could be the moment where my life radically changes...Everything will change if I have breast cancer. The tears began to well up and I just decided, screw it. Let them all out.

Following Up

Herding

Mostly, this perspective of my life helps me keep things light. It is also gives me creative insight into how to parent my children and care for my family.

Herding

The Detour

Hours later, as the sun poked it’s way onto the horizon, I woke up to see that we were still driving. I looked around and quickly noted that we were not where we were supposed to be.

The Detour

What's Your Fifteen?

God inviting me to dream with Him has wrecked me. I will not and cannot go back to being who I was...She was but a shadow, a shell, of who He had intended for her to be!

What's Your Fifteen?

Mom Tribes

at one point, between the blood and tears and pizza and crying, she said "kel, moms just need moms." and it struck me. that's EXACTLY what i need in this season of my life.

Mom Tribes

The Tree First

I would allow myself to slowly seep in this idea of self-absorption, but over time, the untended segments of my soul yielded what was cultivated; self-centeredness.

The Tree First

Invitation to Priority

I heard God whisper to me a very simple request, “You need to make Erin your priority.”... I had quite a few replies, many of which were really just defensive questions.

Invitation to Priority

Desire (for the Long Haul)

I think I’ve discovered something in these last ten years...these are the things that helped me live fully and revive my desire.

Desire (for the Long Haul)